Out the door before the sun rises but my eyes are shiny and bright….
Shades to shield me from the brightness on my way home
while my eyes have lost their sheen.
Days blur together and I still think of things best not thought of,try as I might.
Maybe one day I will just stop thinking about them, out of nowhere
and it will all be forgotten, painlessly, seamlessly, subconsciously….
Then the days will become easier, more familiar, the nights less lonely, more productive.
I will become the woman I was….before you. After everyone else so long ago.
Things were so simple, they can be again, they will be again.
Won’t you just let it happen? Let it happen, that’s what you said.
Just let it happen. So let that darkness go, let your tongue move once again….
Be who you are, not who you think I want you to be, because you can’t.
You don’t know that part. Just be yourself, but be kind, be patient, and be there.
Darkness doesn’t scare me, It’s the silence that sets itself within it that I can’t bear. There is a string hanging from my ceiling, made of beads, suns, moons, stars, and bells…
Every time I walk past it I run my fingers from the top down and listen…
The tinkling of the metal on metal relaxes me as I walk from my closet to my bed.
But I hate plugging in my phone to lie down and subconsciously checking it
just to see that no one cares.